The other look at the current affairs happening.

Posted: August 16, 2012 in Routine

First and foremost I would like to take this auspicious moment and welcome Robin Van Persie to the theatre of Dreams! I am one happy fella because Saf landed his signature…..or he is just about to. I hope he won’t fail his medical check at United due to back injuries sustained because of carrying Arsenal team for the whole season!

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This week JKIA has been busy as usual, but two wonders of the tiny yet big ‘micro-world’ we live in called Kenya occur…one still in the process.
The Kenyan contingent flagged off to London for the Olympics arrived yesterday with only 2 gold medals and a couple of silver and bronze. (Actually I don’t know the exact data coz like you, am only concerned with the Gold medals.)
Athletics Kenya Chairman Kipchoge keino praised the Gold bearers notably Rudisha, who broke the record while the other got carried away(literally) in a Kemboi dance!
It was a wonder because sincerely there was pomp and celebration for guys whose performance was dismal. A reason, or more precisely an excuse for their poor performance, only came up after not only landing at the London Heathrow Airport, but also after one of our own, literally landed on the race track!

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Kemboi

The sports Minister Paul Otuoma said that we should start practising for the Olympics due in 2020! Well I think the guy’s ambition is far fetched. All our athletes needed was an incentive.
Pardon me my Kalenjin brothers but maybe some of our athletes (especially the ones who were beaten in the cross country by the Uganda star Kiprotich) dont understand the value of Gold.
It is of everyone’s knowledge that running has been left to the prefix Kip-named guys…and ofcourse Chep for the sake of being gender sensitive. As an incentive, freshian cows from Netherlands will be grazing as they are running in Rio De Janeiro come 2016. Njuguna, Kamau and Kiambuthi will be at the finish line ready to convert the gold into the cows ofcourse taking a commission of 50% in the transaction. Am pretty sure Kenya will beat USA in their Gold numbers in the records but then all the gold will be sold to them when the price shoots up….that’s the speciality of the middlemen I mentioned. Lazima bei ipande kwanza!

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Miguna Miguna

The second wonder definitely deals with Njuguna Njuguna oops! Miguna Miguna who is due to arrive from Canada where he has been counting loses from the book he did titled ‘ Unveiling the mask.’ From what the news anchors have told me this morning, numerous police are at the airport to provide him with security from people who might cause him harm. That is very appropriate considering some people can go at lengths to teach him a lesson. You will recall that an effigy of Njuguna was burnt or is it buried? When he left for Canada.

Come to think of it, why have we ruled out the possibility the Honourable Premiere could be using his ex-advisor to work a reverse psychology on us? It is apparent all Miguna has done is to solidify the support people had for RAO! The others who hate him have started getting a second opinion already. It’s politics after all and it can’t be complete unless the words ‘dirty game’ are thrown in.

The Kenyan rapper Kaka Sungura has been touring Tanzania in a bid to promote his new album. Ofcourse he chose Tanzania coz they understand him more considering they still learn biology in Kiswahili. Apparently Miguna will be doing the same thing in all the 47 counties…probably to recover the loses arising from the free internet downloading of his book by the techno-savvy and stingy Kenyans! Who even after reading still go on making sick jokes of the man.

I really wonder what will happen should he visit Kibera…guys who ng’oad the railway track!
Am imagining a scenario which in just a few minutes of his arrival at Kibich all the tyres in his entourage will be at BaBa Musyoka’s being made into akala’s with Otieno who struck the deal on his way to purchase a 48” plasma screen to fit in his 800/= per month rental house. The engine parts will already be headed to river road for a sell. The windscreens will finally make Mama Kris smile because Baba Chris will fit them in their house and replace the cartons which for a year have served to protect them from cold, stench from the wastes and peeping neighbours……they are tinted so no need for curtains!
His famous hat will be auctioned in Muthurwa the following week….after which it will become the new swag in town.

By any chance am not a hater of the man. Am just stating the facts as they are. This is a country where having many Peaver or Pioneer speakers doesn’t guarantee you’ll be heard by a crowd of even ten guys. We all know how campaigning is made awesome by the hecklers!

While some of us sit, some of us eat, some of us harvest while the likes of me feed the domestic animals, lets pray that Miguna has a safe landing at JKIA and a not so hard time while at his tour!
Also hoping the athletes settle and start practising.

With that said,I’m out!

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