Of chics and fries/chips.

Posted: October 16, 2012 in Routine
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On 6th October 2012, Becky, a classmate, became the first chic ever to have ordered Ugali and Liver in what I came to understand is a popular eat-out joint in Nakuru town. The second chic rather, because one Zenab and I have ever eaten bamba(on her birthday) which is basically the same but the location and quality differ.
I was taken aback because not so long ago, someone close to me was accused of being unromantic for taking his date to a butchery in Eldoret Town where he ordered for Ugali and karanga (fried beef).

I digress, Becky thought I had catered for the meal and so did the cashier. That’s male chivalry. But gender equality (which I always advocate for in such times) says otherwise. I was embarrassed however when she paid back and duly pointed out that I had received unjust credit back then when I fished out a crispy Ksh.500 note to cater for the two plates.

Most (but absolutely not all) ladies derive pleasure perusing a Menu like its some legally binding document and then after it all quip in, “I’ll have chips/fries…you?”
I now pose a silly question across, is it everyone who normally leaves a few chips on the plate after eating except me? Well, I know there are a few thin ones which misbehave by not allowing to be forked. But I am wise enough to use the fork like a spoon to scoop all the chips till all that remains is the few red ketchup marks on the plate. I am sure the waiters usually appreciate my diligence!

Becky enjoying her lunch

Just like my grandmothers back in Luhya-land, I am yet to figure out the importance of the fried potatoes. Ladies (and guys too) will be found faithfully waiting in a long queue just to have a bite of the oil dripping potato chippings. I used to think that it helps to accentuate some anatomical parts of their physique just like the high heels do. That is not universal however, since most chics still retain flat bottoms despite consuming fries on a daily basis. This flat-bottomed phenomenon is epitomized by the Asian women.

It’s from that particular dish that phrases such as ‘chips funga’ and ‘sausage funga’ have been coined in a comical reference to a one night stand. In as much as they are derogatory because it’s about objectifying a fellow human being, the terms have gained popularity among the young and old such that terms like gaCungwa are slowly fading out.

I’m not so used to going for lunch dates with ladies but rather alone or with the guys. Hence my knowledge on this topic ends fast like a minute man. I have been accused of being stingy…but I think it as being thrifty. Nevertheless, I pretty much appreciate having most if not all lunch-hours by myself.

To all of you, next time you are going out for lunch with either a dude or a chic who must for several myths partake of fries, please be wise enough to pass by Mama Njuguna for a plate of githeri first. Then while having lunch, eat as sparingly as possible…but surely to completion…not like some people we know!

  1. denshispeaks says:

    As a man wipes the chips plate clean with ease using a spoon, the lady eats a quarter of her share and leaves the rest …#Insensitivity.