The Devil’s Advocate

Posted: December 18, 2012 in Imagination, Life, Play!!!
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

audio_hallucinationXavier walks into his apartment staggering after a night of doing all that pertains a successful stag party.
His best-friend Stuart bids him goodnight and reminds him about the wedding.

XAVIER; (Sinking into his couch) Man oh man…what a night!
(from the dining area a voice comes forth)

ADVOCATE; Indeed Xavier! What a night! But in a few hours time you will waste all that.

XAVIER; (startled and afraid) Who said that?…how did you gain entry into my house…what do you want….please don’t harm me….i’ll give you…

(walking across the room and standing a few metres in front of Xavier. A glass coffee table separates the two)

ADVOCATE; I am the last person who would want to hurt you. I am here to help you.

XAVIER; (beginning to recollect himself) I don’t need your help. So get the hell out of my sight and house

ADVOCATE; (as if he didn’t hear what Xavier just said.)
In a few hours time, you will waste all you have worked for, your education, your efforts, your wealth…your personality…everything!

XAVIER; What do you mean? You don’t even know me…and what is it I will wast…?

ADVOCATE; (as if reciting a nursery tune) Xavier Mlofa, born 29 years ago on February 28th in Lugari district hospital, youngest Kenyan holding a PhD in Sociology and has multiple investments countrywide, wealthy, earns a Six figure salary and happy but just about to ruin it all by marrying Brice!


XAVIER; (too dumbstruck at the mention of his soon to be wife)
What do you know about Brice?

ADVOCATE; Nothing much really. You actually know a lot more about her than I do. Only that the little I know is what she has always kept secret from you and anyone close to you.
You want to know why?


ADVOCATE; Because if you know about it, she will fail in her plans. Her plans to bring you and your entire family down.
She hates you. She hates your family. She hates everything about you!

XAVIER; That’s preposterous! (standing up and going for the Advocate)
Brice loves me and you are lying!
(Xavier tries to hit him on the face with a fist but the fist doesn’t make contact with the target. He loses balance and the force of the swing sends him crashing on his coffee table. One of the glass pieces cuts him on his forehead)

XAVIER; ( trying to pick himself up and groaning) Are……ar…are you a ghost?

ADVOCATE; Finally you ask… I am the Devil’s Advocate.
Every now and then I visit men on the eve of their wedding to try and put some sense into their heads.

Look at all the married men…how many of them was right in the prediction of how their married life would be? But look at the women…they control what happens in their houses.
The men? They lost their identity the moment they said ‘I do’

XAVIER; (who is still lying down but able to see the Advocate) What has Brice got to do with all this?

ADVOCATE; (talking a seat) The fall must have brought you back to your senses…ofcourse excluding the litres of liquor you drank and the splifs of ‘Weed’ you smoked.
(in a feign concern)Oh no! Now the trickling blood is messing that part on your cheek where that stripper’s butt left an impression.

(clears throat) Brice doesn’t hate you now. But she will hate you in future. She will hate your family, and she will file for a divorce. Then she will bring you down due to the settlements. She will be favoured since you will have been unfaithful plus sired some illegitimate kids.

XAVIER; (laughing hysterically)…you are a lunatic!

ADVOCATE; She tells you she loves your manly smell?
In marriage she will call you backward!
She tells you she doesn’t mind when you hang out with the guys late into the night?
In marriage she will call that irresponsible!
She tells you she loves your mother?
In marriage she will call her a witch!
She tells you size doesn’t matter?
In marriage she will mock you till you’ll spend time online researching about enlargers!
She gives in to your demands?
In marriage you will be doing once in 6 months that thing which children pretend their parents don’t do.

XAVIER; How does divorce come in?

ADVOCATE; Once the reality hits you that you got married to a complete stranger, you will go look for a lady who will restore your ego.
Sure enough you will find her since many await.
And your hurt ego she will nurse.

XAVIER; (as if in a trance)…Brice will get wind of the story and she will file for a divorce right?…then she will take almost everything I have worked for.

ADVOCATE;(triumphantly)She will then remove the coil from her fallopian tubes and go get a child with a man of her choice maybe an Italian.
She certainly wouldn’t want your genes in her child…would she?

XAVIER;(slowly but firm) I see your point.

**lights fade**
Xavier is hallucinating due to the marijuana. What the Advocate presents is Xavier’s inner fears and uncertainties of marriage life.

*The End*

  1. Bushman says:

    Thank you Kemmie….maybe you should tell me what you think he ended up doing


  2. Kemmie says:

    Great,suspense nayo!!