What if the world had ended…

Posted: December 21, 2012 in Imagination, Life
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,


Last night I kept vigil till about 3:20 am because I didn’t want to miss on the ‘Trumpet’ due to slumber.

This morning is business as usual around the Media world. I haven’t heard reports of spotted extra-terrestrial objects. The only things that were flying over Kibera were the flying toilets.

So I lie back…I am still tucked in my bed…and wonder just what if for once, the predictions about the Apocalypse were right.

Fortunately enough I would have heard the trumpet and gone outside after waking all my family members.
I wouldn’t have the heart to leave the livestock behind. Am sure Abraham and Moses would be pleased by my ingenious act,”Musa…Asselo ameleta ng’ombe…mtura nayo!”

I am assuming a situation where once you are awake and you are outside, the gravity finally fails without the induction of Marijuana.

I will be praying while ascending and repenting for all those things such as;
Coming up with the character Halafu Ukatae in Facebook, sticking together a friends (Denis Lang’at) exercise book pages back in high school, all the sick jokes me and other members of the class football team directed to Willis, thanking God for Monica a friend…because she taught me how to be Irresponsible #bronchial segments and repenting on behalf of all the guys who couldn’t survive without ‘Anastomosing'(illegal group work) during exams back in 1st year.

Since everyone will be around the age of 18 years old, I will be without my small beard.
However, my friend Manu Muasya will be busy asking for shaving cream…but grateful for the no more receding hairline.

The gospel group ‘Complete’ will be seated, with Joanne guitar in hand. Becky,Cheche,Cele and Kivindu singing their melodies in a bid to be added to a singing group in heaven.
My friend Noelle, also a talented singer, will be watching them like she always likes watching and being taken away…while making noise!

Once in heaven, Bildad and Cynthia as well as the Mombasani will have already assumed the role of catering. Nahida asking their only customer Norbert, ”nkutilie kachumbari?”

Brian Thau will be seated outside.
He will be smiling like some idiot thanking luck for the full pack of smokes in his pocket.
When asked by St.Peters if he has been smoking because it’s illegal fortunately not unhealthy in heaven, he will answer, “No, I was taking a walk and stumbled upon hell…I didn’t know human beings were made from tobacco!”

Steve Owiti will be on his way to hell because of all the onside goals he ruled against us during the inter-class matches.

Meanwhile Emma and Beth Gachamio will be asking about parties interested for a Medical Camp…to hell to assist the likes of Adolf Hitler.

My good friends Ayoti and Lewis Musyoka will be busy looking for internet hotspots and kitchenettes

As for me, I would be seated, terribly missing the game NFS but writing all about it in my cranial pages.

A slight tilt to my left side and it will be Uhuru Kenyatta and Willy Ruto trying to shush Musalia Mudavadi who will be shouting, “ntakushtaki kwa Baba….na simaanishi Wenger ama Odinga”


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