…bushman’s perspective of the 4 largest ethnic groups in Kenya

Posted: April 20, 2013 in Kalenjin, Kikuyu, Luhya, Luo
Tags: , , , , ,

My friends Manu Muasya and Robert Kivindu have complained as to why the Kamba weren’t featured in the earlier post.
I did it out of love. The title itself wouldve posed problems. ‘The hart of ngetting what you want’ plus ‘Njose Mulinyo’ and ‘Ngo ngetaaa’
Go Getter

1. The Kalenjins.
Puts on a vest, a brown shirt, a red half sweater, a navy blue suit and Safari boots…makes sure he picks his leather jacket before leaving the house.
They are the kings of long as well as short distance running in Kenya. No wonder President UK chose DP Wlliam Ruto as his running mate.
An educated girl will not have problems with her pronunciation of English words. However, their brothers might be holding phd’s but still say ‘I hold a pht from Masajusets’.

2. The luos.
Some of you behave like you are doing a favour to Kenya by being Kenyans…donge?
They like big things…women,Prados, Timberland boots, shopping at Sir Henry’s and speaking loudly on phone about their offshore investments.
A luo will live in a 500 bob rental house but have all the latest Samsung gadgets and ofcourse a ‘Tinga tinga’ or ‘Gor Mahia’ wrist band.
When their balances usually read zero a few hours after pay-hour end-month, the kikuyu takes 100bob to Equity bank.

3. Kikuyu.
Unlike the luos who love money because of what you can do with it, the Kyuks love money because it’s money.
A Kikuyu and a Kalenjin both have cows. The Kalenjin sells it at 20k.
The Kikuyu will sell the liver, kidneys, the meat, the hide, kichwa na Miguu, make mtura from the innards and still sell soup from the bones….generating 50k in the process.
When they make more money, you will hear them complaining that life is harder.
Their women….very hardworking!

4. Watu wa Ingo!
We like greeting everyone whichever the time. I am grateful for the earphones which has made all Kenyan youth copy the radio swag of luhyas.
We drink tea when we are thirsty and a salary increment or promotion at work instantly pops up the idea of a 2nd wife.

I look at my friends and I am happy how we go past the ethnic differences. Thau, Okatch, Mastuff, Kiboen, Ayoti(he featured as one of the kids in God’s must be crazy) and Wanjala who has a Chicago Bulls vest…he doesn’t even know a thing about basket ball…he bought it because of bull-fighting.

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Comments
  1. Sam Asselo says:

    Apana….me si ndugu ya Tsimonjero…me ni Pushman!

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  2. Sam Asselo says:

    Forgot to mention that stronghold…anyway nowadays competition ipo

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  3. Gideon says:

    Haha smart joker…

    Like

  4. denshispeaks says:

    Our ladies have an unmarched strongholds in mazigwembe.

    all time is tea time

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  5. Sam Asselo says:

    Mmmh…ahsante!

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  6. kibbs says:

    ukiendelea hivo sio mbaya

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  7. Sam Asselo says:

    Hehe thanks man….will see to that!

    Like

  8. Ayoti says:

    Hehehe,nyc one bushman(msee wa ocha)……..nxt tym wakisii na waembu(Musyoka)

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  9. Kivindu says:

    he he hilarious

    Like